How Do You Revive an Office Culture?

Got to say, I’m not really impressed by Polo: A Space Conflicts Tale. I get that everyone wanted a definitive origin story for Dan Polo, the galaxy’s most notorious space polo player (space polo is like regular polo, except they use massive spaceships instead of horses, and they wield gigantic laser bats to smack planets around). And it’s nice seeing how Dan got his name (because he plays polo) and how he meets all of his friends, but the whole thing just felt generic.

Generic is something I don’t really need any more of in my life, and if you saw my office, you’d understand. The place looks like the start of some 80s movie about a guy who feels trapped in mediocrity. Pretty sure the last time the boss got on the phone to find the best office designers Melbourne companies can trust, it was the seventies. Back then everything was covered in a haze of smoke and you could make it all as drab and lifeless as possible. Now we live in the enlightened era where smoking in an office building is utterly unthinkable, so…drab, lifeless office for all to see!

Even if there was some kind of office fitout whirlwind over the weekend and I came in to find that the walls were purple and all the cubicles and spinning chairs had been replaced by open-plan beanbags, I’m not convinced that the people here would fit the space. They’re all a little bit older than I am, a lot more world-weary, and no one even gets my pop culture references. I’m not even going to bother asking if anyone has seen Polo, because I know none of them have. And I guess asking a bunch of generic people if they’ve seen a generic movie is a recipe for boredom anyway.

I could be wrong, though. Someone could win a competition, getting us the best office designers operating in Melbourne to come and glam up the place, thus causing everyone to suddenly wake up and realise that life is beautiful and what-not. But I have my doubts.