High Speed garage

Who even knew that Realsville had a massive Formula One track right outside? This town is just full of surprises, just like when it was suddenly revealed that it had a beach (which would make it a coastal town) and also a large theme park and sports stadium and television industry and I think there’s a mysterious warehouse on the outskirts of town that’s large enough for several mansions all stacked on top of each other, but they haven’t mentioned it in a while.

Anyway, everyone with a passing interest in cars is revving up for the Realsville Derby, but Malachi has a secret advantage. He’s been interning in garages for car servicing, Glen Iris especially because that’s where the hospital is that cares for his sister is (she’s in a coma from the Christmas beetle invasion of 2014), but he’s picked up secrets from all of the auto service garages in the area. That allowed him to use coma-hypnosis on his sister to condition her to be the perfect shadow assassin when she wakes up, so she can avenge their whole family, but also he’s now, like super good at repairing cars.

He’s going to get a job at the F1 stadium and help his other brother achieve victory in the Realsville Derby, humiliating the Danson family publicly before he sets his sister on them by night. This car servicing expertise will also help to mend Malachi’s relationship with his brother, after the RC car destruction incident when they were both children, for which there has never been any forgiveness. These high-speed vehicles will mend that rift…that terrible Christmas rift, the worst kind.

I always tingle a bit when a service appears on the show that I’ve used. Next time I make a booking for a service , I’ll be thinking…Malachi was here. He serviced cars while thinking of both revenge and forgiveness. Squee!


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Look After Your Car

I used to think that I was uniquely disadvantaged, given that I work with cars and people are always doing stupid, car-related things. Like, I have to see people driving around with flat tires, stripping the gears because they don’t know how to drive a manual, or any one of many other ways to abuse a motor vehicle. But then…I think I realise now that everyone has this problem, if they care about their job at all. Writers notice all the spelling and grammar mistakes, doctors and nurses see people NOT taking care of obvious health stuff, all that. That said, I still carry a few business cards for places with motor mechanics in Bendigo, from back when I used to work for them myself. Most of the time people are appreciative of me kindly pointing out that the car they’re driving is close to exploding, and they should probably see an auto mechanic about it. It’s enough people that it makes it worth it when the occasional person gets offended.

But then, I’m a total hypocrite now because I’m involved in the planning for a destruction derby event. Still, I’m one of the people down to help keep the cars in one piece, so I guess you could say I’m the equivalent of a medical professional who loiters near a boxing ring, or a UFC cage match, just to make sure people don’t hit each other too hard. Or at least, if they DO hit each other too hard I can jump in and stop it from getting any worse. So if I wasn’t there, it’d be a lot worse. It’s definitely not the same as people just refusing to take care of their cars, then whining to their local Epsom car servicing professional because they were driving around with the oil light on for weeks.

I just couldn’t be in the car with those people. Not unless they agreed to drive right then and there to an auto servicing professional. I’ll tolerate it for entertainment, but negligence with a motor vehicle is just too grating.


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Cars for a New, More Elegant Age

Now that we’ve all received the wonderful news that the moon will soon be terraformed, we should really start thinking about the various things we’re going to be needing when can walk tat verdant surface. Oh, there’s still a bit of holdout from the grump sorts who can’t accept that we’re going to be confined to domes for the rest of our existence, but they are just terribly short-sighted. How can we bear to gaze out at the lunar surface, gorgeous as it is, and NOT be able to walk upon it, except in bulky suits? This was always meant to be.

Of course, my mechanical skills were vital before when servicing the moon buggies, but I’ll be even more vital when it comes to building actual roads, and the fantastic future cars that will be driving upon them. As everyone should already know, I did my work experience at an auto mechanic. Ringwood was a different place fifteen years ago. My work experience lasted a whole four-and-a-half days. In that short week- shorter than usual because we finished early on Friday- I absorbed everything I could, and I’ve re-visited all of that information multiple times over the years. When Brother Whitley needed help replacing his tires, who stepped up? It was me! When Sister Alberta was hearing some strange noises in her Corolla, who recommended that she should take it into the mechanic, so that they could have a good look at it and sort out the problem! Multiple people, me included!

To design and service the moon cars, driving upon those moon roads…surely, my destiny is this. I’ve been working an office job for ten years, always dreaming of tire replacement, brake servicing and the occasional RACV insepction. Ringwood might have been a good place before me, but now my future is among the stars, the master of lunar travel. Surely, this is a fuller and richer destiny than any upon the Earth!


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A Done Deal

I really need to get this car out of my hair. Since I moved within walking distance of the train line, I really don’t need it anymore – all it does is drain my bank account and discourage me from engaging in incidental exercise. The good news is that I might have a buyer, and she seems pretty low-fuss about the whole thing. Her only requirement is that I show her evidence of a vehicle inspection from an RACV-accredited auto care centre.

As far as things go in the Ringwood area, RACV vehicle inspections are easy enough to arrange. It’s a wee bit annoying because I’ve recently had a comprehensive service done on the car, but the mechanic that carried it out wasn’t verified by the RACV. I understand why people want this type of pre-purchase inspection, though, and I’m happy to comply if it means I can sell the car quickly and for a good price.

I think she appreciates that I have an up-to-date manufacturer’s logbook. Servicing in Ringwood, in my experience, tends to be readily conducive to this end, but I guess some people don’t bother with it if they have a used car. I’m feeling kind of smug about the fact that I did go through with it, because it’s probably contributed to the tidy sale price I’ve managed to negotiate with my buyer. It also means that I feel pretty good about advertising the general health of the vehicle – I’ve never had any problems with it.

I’m pretty confident that I won’t miss any of this rigmarole. I’m looking forward to not having the option of driving and all the stress that comes with it – traffic, parking and the like. And I definitely won’t miss all these trips to the mechanics. I hope the buyer is as excited about buying the car as I am about selling it!

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