You know you’re getting desperate when you’re up at 2am, searching for Wi-Fi-enabled light-bulbs that steadily brighten in the morning and supposedly help you get up naturally. except it obviously isn’t natural, because it’s a Wi-Fi light-bulb. And then it’s not going to help me in the morning, because the whole point of not waking up properly is the fact that I chronically go to bed late, due to severe insomnia. So a Wi-Fi light-bulb is just going to make things worse at this point, since I won’t be getting ANY quality sleep.
Doctor couldn’t do anything about it, though he did give me contact details for a psychiatrist’s office in the Mornington Peninsula. Not too far off.
Is it in my head, though? I don’t want to go to a psychologist and waste their time when it turns out I just have a messed up sleeping pattern. Sure, I know it’s because of my poor life choices- not to mention the fact that I cannot for the life of me dump screens before bed- but still, it could just be something I have to deal with myself.
Yeah, yeah…said every single problem procrastinator ever. It’s 2018, and all that. Mental health isn’t something we stow away in a cupboard while we take a stiff upper lip and hope for the best. There are whole days devoted to asking people how they are. Video game addiction is a disorder now. And if this is seriously damaging the way I live my life- which it totally is, come to think of it- then it needs to stop.
Guess I’m making a quick trip to the Mornington Peninsula. Seeing a psychiatrist might not be quick, come to think of it, but at this point I’ll do anything to break out of this cycle. I COULD try the Wi-Fi light-bulb, but I have a feeling I’ll be $40 poorer and no closer to an actual solution.
-Alana